I'm Not "Exotic"

exotic
(ig-zot-ik)
 adjective

1. of foreign origin or character; not native; introduced from abroad, but not fully naturalized or acclimatized.
2. strikingly unusual or strange in effect or appearance:
   (an exotic hairstyle."   

Ever since puberty, the most frequent "compliment" I hear is, "You're so exotic."  Everyone who says that to me is well-meaning, so I never fly into a long-winded lecture in places like the train or bar, but I'm really annoyed by that word.

I  was born in Denver, raised in Littleton, and only spoke English.  I'm no more exotic than Keri Russell, and I've never had my own TV show.

People, of course, aren't referring to my acculturation (I have none. I grew up in Littleton for Christ's sake), they're just finding another way to tell me I'm brown.  I'll never understand the need to get a person's entire back-story because you can't pinpoint their ethnicity.  "Ethnicity" is one of those racially charged words that only applies to non-white people.  Who sees a Blake Lively and wonders what's her ethnicity? If a piece of jewelry or clothing is "ethnic," then it has traditional beading or patterns from a country that does not have a white majority.

The word "exotic" is an adjective white people use to describe others who don't fall into their standard definition of beauty.  Men who say their "type" is "exotic women" are just saying they they think Halle Berry, Zoe Saldana, and Lucy Liu are beautiful.  That just means they think beautiful women are beautiful.  All three of those women are American, but all three appear on lists of "exotic actresses" the geniuses of the internet keep compiling. Conversely, men will say they like "All-American" girls when they're referring to white women, because only racists say their "type" is white women.

I've been called overly sensitive for feeling this way about a word most people consider a compliment, but it's very, very rare that I have any sort of interaction that doesn't somehow end up on the topic of where my parents come from. Polite people will flat out say, "If you don't mind me asking, what's your ethnicity?" If I play along, the conversation always -- ALWAYS -- manages to progress to where my name comes from, how my parents met, if they're still together, if I have siblings, what languages I speak, why my mom didn't teach us Khmer, and any other question about my upbringing that isn't, at-all, appropriate for the first five minutes of a conversation. My [least] favorite is "I could sense a mix in you," like that person has a sixth sense to sniff out multi-racial individuals.

Is it my duty to educate people on American diversity? Am I supposed to sate someone else's curiosity because they can't work out why I speak like a character out of Clueless, but look Filipino, Hawaiian, Latina, or South American (which is very broad, but still grouped together by the word "exotic") What are my obligations in the name of politeness beyond saying please, thank you, and excuse me? And why do I always have to be Princess Jasmine and Scary Spice in group Halloween costumes?!

Those are not rhetorical questions, I'd really like to know the answers.